The Condemned

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5 Words: Battle Royale... only completely retarded.
1 Number: 2

3:10 to Yuma

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5 Words: Improbable but convincing modern western.
1 Number: 8

Year of the Dog

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5 Words: Well-intentioned but ultimately dull, misguided.
1 Number: 4

George Washington

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5 Words: Appealing delivery but lacks substance
1 Number: 5

Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13 - 22

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5 Words: Sadly, the hip-hopera loses steam.
1 Number: 5

Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 1 - 12

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5 Words: "Crazier than fish with titties."
1 Number: 7

Black Snake Moan

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5 Words: Horrendous writing and worse acting.
1 Number: 3

The Lives of Others

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5 Words: eine bezauberndsunvergleichene, aufwühlendshoffene, visuellsgedämpftsbefriedigene Ausführung

5 Word Translation: a magical-incomparable, stirring-hope, visually-muted-satisfying performance-execution-achievement-construction
1 Number: 8

Ararat

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5 Words: Heavy-handed history makes melodramatic movies.
1 Number: 3

The Ground Truth

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5 Words: Important, unsurprising stories boringly assembled.
1 Number: 4

Oldboy

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5 Words: Farcical mystery tarnishes marvelous setup.
1 Number: 8

Havoc

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5 Words: Is shit-ass hyphenated or not?
1 Number: 1

Jet Lag

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5 Words: Insufferable, self-conscious, chemistry-less romantic comedy
1 Number: 2

Festival Express

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5 Words: Ugly people making beautiful music.
1 Number: 6

300

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5 Words: Me more manly now... (grrrunt).
1 Number: 6

Superbad

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5 Words: Autobiographical (minus the female successes)
1 Number: 9

Sunshine

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5 Words: Derivative (yet enthralling) space suspense.
1 Number: 6