Tadpole

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5 Words: Pompous, trite dramedy about love.
1 Number: 3

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

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5 Words: Woody Allen sure loves adultery.
1 Number: 7

City of Men

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5 Words: Disappointing, TV show quality finale.
1 Number: 4

Ghost Town

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5 Words: Run-of-the-mill romantic comedy -- unromantic cast.
1 Number: 6

Kung Fu Panda

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5 Words: Actually not annoying... seriously... really.
1 Number: 7

In the Valley of Elah

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5 Words: "War: Bad"... Got it already.
1 Number: 3

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

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5 Words: I've already forgotten about it.
1 Number: 4

Transsiberian

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5 Words: Unpredictable, oft off-putting travel thriller.
1 Number: 5

Eagle Eye

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5 Words: Unbelievably dumb on many levels.
1 Number: 2

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

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5 Words: Mediocre tale with stunning visuals.
1 Number: 6

Doubt

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5 Words: Not certain it was enjoyable.
1 Number: 5

Seven Pounds

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5 Words: Unbelievably slow with obvious surprises.
1 Number: 4

Gran Torino

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5 Words: Old Dirty Harry is corny.
1 Number: 4

JCVD

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5 Words: Tongue in cheek(y), meta action.
1 Number: 8

The Wrestler

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5 Words:  A glorious slow-motion train wreck.
1 Number: 9

Man on Wire

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5 Words: Man too full of himself.
1 Number: 4

Rendition

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5 Words:  (Theatrically) Beats a dead horse.
1 Number: 4

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

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5 Words: Kevin Smith's comedy is dated.
1 Number: 3

Slumdog Millionaire

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5 Words: Overhyped, underdeveloped (yet sweet) romance.
1 Number: 6